Q + A: How Do I Ask My Parents about Their Estate Planning?

Reader Question:

"My parents mentioned years ago that they have a trust, but that is all I know. I have no idea where their documents are, who their attorney is, or what they would want if something happened. How do I ask without seeming like I am after their money?"

Answer:

Set that worry aside. Asking a parent where their plan is kept is not greedy. It is responsible, and most parents are relieved when a child finally brings it up.

The key is to focus on logistics, not dollars. You are not asking what you will inherit. You are asking how to honor their wishes when the time comes. Try something like, "I hope we will not need this for a very long time, but if something ever happened, I want to handle things the way you would want. Can you tell me where your documents are and who I should call?"

Keep the first conversation small. You really only need three things: where the documents are kept, the name of their attorney, and who they have chosen as trustee or agent. If they want to share more, great. If not, you still have the information that matters most.

If they seem hesitant, suggest they write the details down and seal them in an envelope, or leave the information with their attorney. They keep their privacy today, and you are not left solving a mystery later.

One more thing: If it has been years since they mentioned that trust, there is a decent chance it needs updating. If they are open to a review, we are happy to help them bring it current. Contact us to schedule a consultation.