Q + A: How Do I Talk to My Future Spouse about a Prenup?

Reader Question:

"I am getting married soon and bringing some assets into the marriage, specifically a retirement account and proceeds from a house I sold. I've been thinking about a prenup, but I'm terrified to bring it up. How do I approach (the conversation? I would appreciate any tips."

Answer:

This is one of the hardest conversations to start, but it is also one of the most important.

First, your instinct is correct. Without a prenup, if you take those house proceeds and use them to buy a new "marital home" with your spouse, you might accidentally turn your separate property into marital property. A prenup clarifies that what you built before the marriage stays yours, while outlining what you will build together.

The key is to frame the discussion around clarity, not distrust. Think of a prenup like a seatbelt: You don't put it on because you plan to crash; you put it on so you can enjoy the ride with peace of mind.

Also, remember that you don't have to navigate this alone. Sometimes, having a neutral third party guide the conversation takes the emotional weight off. As a newly married couple, you already need to establish a fresh legal foundation by creating Powers of Attorney, Healthcare Directives, and a Will or Trust, to ensure you can care for one another. We can easily weave the prenup discussion into that broader conversation about protecting your future together.

When you are ready to start that journey, we are here to help you address all of these pieces at once. Please do not hesitate to contact us at (503) 235-5150 to schedule a consultation.