Mailbag Moment: Your Burning Questions, Answered

Reader Question:

"My younger brother is in his fifties with two teenagers, and he still does not have a will. Every time I bring it up, he laughs it off or changes the subject. How do I get through to him without sounding like I am nagging?"

Answer:

You are clearly a thoughtful sibling, and your brother is lucky to have you in his corner. This is one of the most common frustrations we hear, so please know you are not alone.

First, try taking the pressure off the word will. For a lot of people, that single word conjures images of mortality and lawyers, and they shut down before the conversation even begins. Instead, frame it around his kids. Something like, "If anything ever happened to you and Sarah, who would step in for the teenagers, and would they have what they need?" Most parents soften the moment the focus shifts to their children.

It also helps to share your own story. Tell him how relieved you felt once your plan was in place. Let him see that this is not about dwelling on the worst. It's about taking something stressful off the table for good.

Finally, lower the bar to entry. Do not ask him to overhaul his whole life in an afternoon. Just ask him to make one phone call, or offer to pass along our information so that very first step feels small and manageable.

If he still resists, give it some time and try again down the road. You are planting a seed. When he is finally ready, we would be glad to make the process as simple and painless for him as possible.

Fun Fact: Even Lincoln Put It Off

Abraham Lincoln practiced law for nearly twenty-five years before becoming president, yet when he died in 1865, he left no will of his own. He is actually one of several U.S. presidents, alongside Ulysses S. Grant and James Garfield, who passed away intestate. It is proof that even the people who know the law best are not immune to putting this task off.